It’s been quite some time since I have made a blog post, and I would like to focus more on this blog and my writing, but it has been difficult. I was recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, and between the pain, trying to find a decent doctor, losing my job, trying to get social security benefits, and everything else in my life, writing hasn’t been on the forefront of my mind.

Having a disability is a learning process. Learning how far I can push myself to get done what needs to be done, learning what my limits are, learning what medications work, learning that a lot of people (including doctors) won’t believe me.

I have an amazing support system, so I am very lucky for that. My roommate and our boyfriend take care of me. They are wonderful. I have also met some fantastic ladies who also have fibro who have been very kind and supportive and helped me in ways they will never imagine. I have my mom, who is understanding and patient with my new flakiness and who helps me financially when she can.

And one of the hardest parts is money. I can’t work. But to get social security, I have to go through a lawyer, and it will take years. So where I was once the primary income earner in my household, now the onus is on my roommate and our boyfriend to support us, and they were only recently able to find full time work. And it sucks that they have to do that because not only do I hate not being independent, but that’s less time they are home taking care of me. My boyfriend told me he worries when he’s gone that I might fall and hurt myself or otherwise need his help. And you know, that’s a valid concern. But we do what we have to.

And with this brief summary as to what is going on with me and why I haven’t updated, I have to ask for help. We need financial assistance to pay this month’s rent and bills, or our rent is going to be late (a tarnish on our rental history which will make it harder to get a different, cheaper place) and we’ll be playing catch up on bills for the rest of the year. Unless some kind souls can help and contribute even $1 at a time. If we can just get this next month’s rent and bills taken care of completely, we will be okay. So please, follow this linkΒ and if you cannot contribute any money, please share the link on social media. The stress of our financial situation has caused my anxiety levels to be at an all time high and in turn, caused my pain levels to skyrocket. So if that burden is lifted, our lives, and my treatment, will be made that much easier.

Thank You for you support,

Stephani AKA Gwen.

 

 

 

My introduction to camming

August 25, 2015

I had toyed with (no pun intended) the idea of doing amateur porn a few times in my life. It has always appealed to me, and now that I have more confidence in my body, I thought now would be a great time to try it. I’ve only done a few sessions, and haven’t made a whole lot of money yet, but I am building a fan base, and so far, the experience has been very positive.

I was warned there would be trolls, that some men might criticize my body and say some nasty things. I was prepared for that. In the few sessions I have done though, only two men have insulted me, and the wonderful thing is, not only can I ban them, but for every one man who insults me, there are 20-30 men who say I am perfect, that I am a goddess, that my body is beautiful. It’s really an ego boost having so many men at once tell you you’re sexy and gorgeous and attractive.

As a feminist, I have lamented and posted about sexual harassment, and unwanted male attention, and that men say vile and disgusting things because they feel entitled to comment on my body and sometimes, to touch it. With camming though, it’s a completely different dynamic. First, I am being paid by men (and a few women, sometimes) to take off my clothes and for them to tell me how gorgeous I am. Second, the men in these chatrooms are, for the most part, very respectful. Their comments aren’t always overtly sexual. Yes, a lot of them comment on my breasts, my ass, and my body in general, but a lot of times, they just say I am beautiful, perfect, have a lovely smile, and so on. Many of these men are lonely, just looking for a pretty girl to be nice to them, and online, it’s safer, and (can be) less expensive. Some of them are just looking to get off,and that is fine too, because while they are asking (and tipping) me to take off my clothes, touch myself, spank myself, they are polite, they are kind, and they compliment me constantly. They ask me completely non-sexual questions like where I am from, what kind of tings I like to do for fun (besides in bed), they ask about my interests, what I got my degree in, about what I do for my day job. Of course, I try not to divulge too much personal info, so I bend the truth a little, but it’s interesting to me how men who have the anonymity of a keyboard are so eager to just converse with me, like a human being, to have a connection. Men who catcall are the opposite, they feed on women’s insecurities, and they feel entitled to our bodies, our spaces, and our sense of self worth. They are not respectable, nor are they complimenting anyone. But the men I entertain online, they are respectable for the most part, they are genuinely complimenting me, because they know that no matter ho many compliments they give me, I won’t take anything off or perform any requests until I see those tips. Some nights I don’t make anything, so I cut the session short, and they are understanding. But they seem to value the time I did take to interact with them, even if I never got naked because they couldn’t afford to tip me. They know I am in this for money, and know that my time is valuable, so they don’t get upset with me. Some of them even want to buy me things (most camgirls have an amazon wishlist).

There was one client, who was all roses and candy until he asked me to view his cam, and I told him I would if he tipped me. Then he asked to see my pussy and again, I told him I needed some tips to show anything. He did get angry and insulted me, so I banned him. But everyone else was apologetic, said not to listen to him, I’m perfect, and if he wanted a free show he should have gone to redtube or pornhub.

I really think I could do this full-time, and I think if I really committed to it, I would make a lot of money, possibly more than I make in my day job. It’s definitely something I am considering, because I actually really like it. I surprised myself with how comfortable I am on camera, even completely naked, even masturbating. Maybe it is because I can’t see who is watching unless I want to, or maybe it’s because I decide what I am comfortable doing, but I find the whole experience very empowering. I may have found something that I can really be happy doing, odd as it sounds. I don’t feel ashamed, in fact, I’ve told my mother, all of my friends, and a couple of coworkers about it. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I’m not doing this out of desperation (not that anyone who does should be ashamed), or because I was coerced or pressured. I decided to do it, on my own terms. I am very lucky to know someone who has done it who has helped me to get started, because honestly, one of the reasons I hadn’t sooner was because I had no idea where or how to start. But I am getting the swing of things.

I will be posting more about my experiences in this en devour, and look forward to writing some interesting stories.

Coming out, again

May 22, 2015

As a proud queer woman, I never imagined that I would have another “coming out of the closet” in my life. Since admitting to myself that I am not gay or straight, and that bisexual doesn’t fit either, I came to the conclusion that “queer” best fits my identity. I have come out of the closet three times: once as bisexual, once as a lesbian, and finally again as queer. It took a lot of self reflection and explaining of what it means to me to my friends and family, but for the most part, it’s been pretty easy for me. I thought I was done. Oh, was a wrong…

I am coming out for a fourth time, but this time I am not changing my queer identity, I am adding another: polyamorous. And so far, coming out as poly has been scarier than any of the other times I have come out. Even some of the most sex positive, pro-LGBTQ feminists get squeamish when someone mentions non-monogamous relationship dynamics. In the fight for marriage equality, I find myself more and more thinking, “yes, but what if I want to marry a man AND a woman?”

This coming out began fairly recently. First, after I decided that monogamy wasn’t for me–Actually, I don’t think I even decided that, I think I came to realize it and finally accepted it–I started out with casual non-monogamous relationships. No romantic entanglements, just friends with benefits kind of arrangements. And then I met him. My boyfriend who has guided me into the realm of romantic non-monogamy and been so patient as I adjust because monogamy was all I knew before.

So here is my polyamory coming out story, as it began, and as it is progressing now, because I am still in the process of coming out…

It first started when I began a sexual relationship with a friend of mine who was also in an open marriage. That was interesting, because my mom, who is wonderful and very accepting of all my life choices, was kind of taken aback. Her first reaction was, “does his wife know that?” I wasn’t really surprised by this reaction. Non-monogamous relationship models were not something my mom really understood, but hey. she doesn’t have to understand, just accept. And she did.

Eventually I had various on-again-off-again sexual relationships with several friends, and I started an OKCupid account, which, if you’ve read this blog before, you’ve seen some of the more ridiculous messages I have gotten. Well one day I received a message from a guy that was actually decent, his profile was written very poetically, and he was really cute. Like ridiculously hot. Like, I’m pretty confident, but he’s the kind of person whose so attractive to me I would never think they’d give me the time of day. In his message he told me to let him know if I was interested (there was more to the message than that, obviously). I replied with “Perhaps.” That’s it. One word. A couple of days later, I revisited the message, and his profile, and sent him another message, telling him he looked exactly like one of my favorite drag queens out of drag from that season of RuPaul’s drag race (seriously the resemblance was uncanny). He thought that was amusing, and we began conversing and quickly determined we should meet.

We met for coffee the next night. He told me he would not initiate any physical contact without my consent, because enthusiastic consent was important to him. That was it. Game over. Take me now. It was the sexiest thing anyone had ever said to me.

So we went back to my place, and I was shy at first, but he was true to his word. He asked permission to touch my hips, he asked if he could kiss me, he asked what I wanted to do. He did not have sex with me until I said I wanted to have sex with him. He told me we could do whatever I wanted, whether that be kissing, oral sex, or vaginal sex, whatever I wanted, whatever I was comfortable doing. It took me a while, because I was so not used to someone so adamant on verbal consent, but finally I said I would love to have sex with him. And it was mind blowing. And I was hooked.

We continued having sex and hanging out, and I met his girlfriend and roommate, who was also one of his primary partners. It was nice. He and I were establishing a good friendship and a nice casual sexual arrangement, and everything was good. Then I realized I really, really liked this guy. A lot. There was a two week stretch where we didn’t see each other and it was torture for me. When we finally saw each other again he promised he would never go that long without seeing me again. He missed me, and I missed him.

Now, things were a little complicated because I was starting to have romantic feelings for him, but his relationship dynamic was such that his girlfriend was his primary partner, and he could have sex with other people, but from what I gathered, other romantic relationships were not allowed, possibly with the exception of their roommate. It was kind of confusing, because I don’t think his girlfriend really wanted an open relationship, but was adamant that she did. I never really asked about the ins and outs of that dynamic, I just kept my emotional distance the best I could. I eventually admitted to him that I did have an emotional investment, and he acknowledged that he did as well in me, but we didn’t really go further into it. I didn’t want to come between him and his already established relationship. Plus, I wanted to be friendly with his girlfriend and roommate.

Eventually he started spending the night with me once in a while. Then it started to be every weekend. Eventually it became an established routine that weekends were my time with him. Suddenly I was not only a priority, but I was certainly more than a friend. Finally, he told me he loved me, and of course, I told him I love him back. I was so happy.

As things progressed, I started being more and more confused about our arrangement and it was taking an emotional toll on me. I started feeling detached from someone I normally felt very connected to. So I asked him for a more defined recognition of our relationship and he agreed to accommodate my needs and said that if I wanted to call him my boyfriend or partner, he was okay with that. He promised that I could always tell him what I am feeling without fear of reprisal and that he will do his best to communicate his feelings as well as reasonably accommodate my emotional needs. I felt a bit better.

Soon after he and his girlfriend broke up, which was a good thing for the both of them because they simply weren’t working. I started feeling a little insecure though, because he was now starting this new life and making plans with his roommate, who was also someone he was emotionally invested in. I asked him if he saw a future with me, what our relationship means to him, and suggested a pet name to call each other that is just for us to use with each other, as well as finding an activity that is just for us. We discussed things, and he agreed to almost everything I was asking. He explained that while he and his roommate do not feel the need to use labels for their relationship, and is ambivalent about such labels in general, it does make him happy that I call him my boyfriend. I asked him if he thinks we will ever live together, while keeping in mind that his current roommate is a romantic partner and would be a consideration in that regard. He said that is not something he would rule out, but not something he is willing to consider yet, which was reasonable, as at this point we’ve known each other less than a year. I gave him a key to my apartment, which we agreed was a good starting point for our relationship’s progression.

I’ve gone into a lot of detail about how my relationship has progressed, because I feel it is paramount to my introduction to polyamory. This relationship is my coming out story. Things are absolutely wonderful now because we’ve continued to communicate, and his other partner and I are friendly with each other. She and I can show affection to him in front of each other and no one gets jealous. I invited her to get a mani/pedi with me so that she and I could spend some time together, just the two of us, and it was really nice to have that. I have a great respect for her and I think she has a great deal of respect for me as well. We are completely different in a lot of ways, but we do get along really well, which makes me happy and I’m quite sure makes my boyfriend happy.

The point of all this is: Polyamory may not be for everyone. In fact, I am not even sure being polyamorous is really a choice, I think in a some ways it’s an orientation like being gay or straight or bisexual. Being monogamous or polyamorous is part of who you are. They say you can’t choose who you love. Well, I believe some people happen to love multiple people, and they don’t choose that. The only choice involved is choosing to embrace it and accept it. Since it is new to me, sometimes I feel a little jealous, but I told my boyfriend that this has nothing to do with him or even her, or any mistrust, but with my own emotional response to a relationship model that is new to me. I know very well that shared love is not diminished love and that his relationship with her has no bearing on his relationship with me. I’m still learning, but I think we’re doing it right. My boyfriend and I have an understanding that disclosure of any new partners is optional, especially casual ones, but I have expressed that should he have any more potential romantic partners, I would prefer to meet them. We trust each other to be safe otherwise, and we trust each other to express if we are feeling our needs are not being met so that we can remedy those situations.

Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t understand polyamory. I find myself being very careful at work about which of my partners I talk about (I have one other consistent partner, though we haven’t had any talks of making it a more romantic relationship) and how I refer to them. I have told two of my coworkers about my polyamory, but for the most part, I am not out. It’s sad, too, because why shouldn’t I be able to–if I have multiple boyfriends, or a boyfriend and a girlfriend–talk about each of them individually, and not have to make people assume I’m talking about just one person?

I am hoping that with my story, people can see polyamory from a different perspective than what they assume. I am not afraid or incapable of commitment. In fact, I am very committed to my boyfriend as he is to me and to his other partner. Those commitments just don’t involve any exclusivity or expectations of monogamy. They involve trust, compassion, validating each others feelings, and making reasonable compromises and accommodations when needed. The same commitments monogamous people have, just without the exclusivity.

I’m happy now. And I hope that polyamory becomes more accepted by society, because it really is wonderful for those of us who want it. I am also excited to see where my relationship goes and what others, if any develop. That’s another thing about polyamory, people assume we’re just sleeping around with anyone and everyone, or that if one person has another partner, the other needs to have other partners. This is not true. For a long time after I established a relationship with my boyfriend, I didn’t even have any other casual partners. I just didn’t feel the need. But I am also not closing myself off to the possibility of that happening. That’s the wonderful thing about being poly for me, it’s fluid. I can choose to sleep with other people, or I can not. If I meet someone I am romantically interested in, I can pursue it. If I find love with another person, I can express it, and my boyfriend will know that I still love him.

One way he explained it to me is that he is mine and I am his, just as he is hers (his other partner) and she is his, but not in any possessive kind of way, rather in the sense that we are each important to the other, and the other. I think that is the most accurate and concise description of our relationship dynamic any of us could come up with. We each belong to our partners, and our partners belong to us individually, but no one owns anyone in any sense, and we all have the autonomy and freedom to love and lust for whoever we wish.

Living with PMDD

February 1, 2015

I first discovered I had PMDD when I was 15 years old. It wasn’t until after my symptoms were already being treated that I understood why I felt so depressed before my period. PMDD stands for Pre Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder and unlike regular PMS, can have very severe and disabling effects. Before I started birth control, I would cut my arms, cry for no reason, feel insecure about literally everything, and generally I hated everything. I never attempted suicide, but I thought about it. I wrote terrible and depressing poetry as a means of coping with how I felt. Some might chalk all this up to teen angst, and hey, I did for a while. But the difference is that teen angst doesn’t make people think suicide is a genuine option. Teen angst doesn’t make people self harm (depression does). Teen angst doesn’t make an otherwise happy and healthy young woman feel like the life is draining out of her through her heart.

This all sounds very dramatic, and the truth is, it is dramatic. Everything in my life felt chaotic and dramatic. Every bad thing that happened, anytime a family member died, or even if a boy I liked rejected me, it literally felt like I could not move on from it. It weighed on me like a ton of bricks and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I felt helpless, alone, and like no one or nothing could help me. I didn’t want to talk about it, because I felt ashamed, scared, and like I was crazy. I was so terrified of being crazy.

And then the worst and quite possibly the best thing happened to me. I got pregnant. The pregnancy was horrible, and even though I wasn’t having periods, the hormonal imbalance that PMDD provided me was in like a permanent state while I was pregnant. It hurt to even cry. But it was probably the best thing that happened because after I had the abortion and was put on birth control, it was like something in my brain clicked and suddenly I felt happy, I felt normal, I no longer wanted to hurt myself.

Now, over 10 years later, my PMDD is still being managed relatively well with birth control. I used Depo Provera for 6 years and now use Nuva Ring, stacking it on a 4 week cycle so that I do not have a period. Around 3-5 days before the end of my cycle, however, I still get nervous, neurotic, weepy, and insecure. Sometimes I can’t sleep, sometimes all I want to do is sleep and I feel drained of all energy. It’s nowhere near as severe as it was before, but it has been getting more intense in the last year or so. I am considering switching to the implant, and I got a cat as an emotional support animal. I have been living alone for the past year and I think that also has contributed to my hormonal difficulties. It’s not easy, but I am managing in the best ways I know how. I still don’t feel the urge to harm myself, which is good, but sometimes it is hard, and sometimes I feel so intensely emotional that I cry for no reason, or even the slightest disappointment feels like I am being stabbed in the chest. Unfortunately, my testosterone levels also increase so my sex drive increases as well. It is a very weird feeling to want to cry but also want to have sex. In addition to my cat and my birth control, I also make a point to not be alone for too long when I am feeling this way. I usually invite a friend over to keep me company. Many of my friends are very supportive and a few of them have no problems spending as much time with me as I need. This is much appreciated, as when I am feeling so overwhelmed, being alone seems like the worst thing possible. Especially at night.

It’s hard to describe how it feels to be so vulnerable, so emotionally unstable and only at certain times of the month. I suspect that anyone who has anxiety, depression, or bi-polar disorder can relate to some of the feelings I’ve described here, but PMDD and other hormonal imbalances are still heavily misunderstood. Some scientists theorize that PMS is a societal myth, a social construct, a way of discrediting women and making us seem irrational and crazy. I don’t know if that is true or not, and I can see how society may use PMS (real or not) as a way of disenfranchising women, but PMDD is very real. It is horrible, and it needs more recognition.

Children’s toys are not to blame for giving girls an unrealistic standard of beauty. They are toys and children don’t spend a lot of time thinking about what they look like nor do they compare their bodies to something so small and plastic.

You know who we compare our bodies to? Other people. Why do we do it? Because we’re constantly told to. Between the barrage of weight loss ads, the photoshopped supermodels that dominate our magazines, and the endless scrutiny of celebrities when they gain a little bit of weight, women are told from a very young age that our bodies are not good enough. Yet people like to blame Barbie and any other toy marketed toward little girls, they like to blame the supermodels for being so thin, and they love to blame the celebrities for fluctuating their weight so much. They are placing blame where it doesn’t belong and need to point their fingers elsewhere: at themselves. It’s easy to blame Barbie or a supermodel or a celebrity because then we don’t have to look at where this culture came from. We’re perpetuating this culture by continuing to body-shame women whether they are fat or skinny. We are allowing the media to create and maintain this impossible standard by sitting back and letting a toy, a model, or an actress be the scapegoat for our own insecure projections.

 

When you blame Barbie for a girl’s body image, you are saying an inanimate object has more power over a girl’s psyche than the commercial she saw of the woman who looked just fine 30 pounds heavier bragging about how much better she looks now that she lost that “unsightly body fat.”

 

When you blame the rail-thin supermodel, you are saying even thin is not good enough and that the body type she has is more influential than the person who photoshopped the picture to make her impossibly thin.

 

When you blame the celebrities, you are saying it’s acceptable to judge their lives and that a celebrity’s weight is more important than telling your daughter that her’s is just fine.

 

So how do we stop this? How do we combat this culture of body-shaming? We stop blaming the toys and the models and the celebrities, and we looks at ourselves and the body shaming we do on a daily basis. We criticize the media for refusing to make toys that encourage positive self-image, continuing to photoshop people who look beautiful just the way they are, and the paparazzi for constantly making big news when a celebrity gains or loses weight. We tell our daughters, friends, sisters and mothers that people come in many shapes and sizes and it’s okay to be fat, skinny, or somewhere in between. That our health is more important than how we look, and being fat or skinny is a superficial way of judging health or happiness.

 

EDIT: I wanted to add that I don’t think it’s a bad idea to market dolls that are more realistic and representative of girls of varying body types. I think it’s a great idea, in fact. The Lammily doll is fantastic and I think can help girls feel better about themselves. I also don’t think it’s appropriate to blame Barbie for perpetuating a negative self image when it is our own culture that created and encourages body shaming.

My Facebook news feed has been flooded with various articles on Kim Kardashian’s recent photo shoot for Paper Magazine where she undressed and was photographed completely nude. Few seem to be talking about the original champagne photo this shoot was modeled after and the racist and exploitative history behind it, but everyone seems to be talking about how shameful she is for posing nude because “she’s a mom.”

Now, I don’t follow Kim K. nor do I really know much about her other than she is married to Kanye West and people love to make her into an icon of sexual objectification. Let me put this simply: I don’t care how she got famous, I don’t care if she’s a mom, a nun, or a prostitute. There is no excuse for shaming her for choosing to pose nude. This is classic misogyny and is unacceptable. Women are sexual beings, just as men are, and we have the right to express our sexuality in any way we see fit. Kim Kardashian is not a “whore.” She is a woman. A woman deserving of respect regardless of if you approve of her choices.

I think some of the worst comments I saw on the photos were “shame on Kanye for allowing her to do this” and “Her so called husband didn’t do his job in protecting her…” Excuse me? Kanye does not own her, and it is not his job to “protect” her from making her own choices or expressing her sexual self. It is his job to treat her with respect and love her (whether he does those things, I don’t know, but that’s another argument).

To criticize Kim Kardashian or ANY woman, famous or not, for posing nude or having sex (on or off camera) or otherwise doing anything that displays their sexuality is sexist, it is reprehensible, and blatant sex-shaming. Celebrities get the worst of it. We need to stop this constant barrage of attacks on female sexuality. Being sexual is HEALTHY. And if you don’t like someone posing nude, don’t look. It’s that simple. The idea that a woman is only of value if she is “pure” or hides her sexuality is based on a false morality designed to control women. Values do not equal religious mortality.

Sh*t OkCupid Says Pt. 3

November 9, 2014

Well I have gotten a ton of messages since my last OkCupid post. And some of them really make me wonder if I should delete my profile and hide in my own little corner of the internet…
are you horny?
Sent on Aug 18
Rather forward for a first message, and typically, I only express this to someone I want to have sex with. Good job on not reading my profile.
Hey im young lokking for some sex baby! πŸ˜€
Sent on Aug 18
With game like that, I bet your hand wets itself every night. And with a username like daddydick123, it’s a wonder you even need OkCupid.
Ur a Sexologist. . I hav sme Probs. Vil u help me
Sent from the OkCupid app Aug 28
Whut? Ok seriously, OKCupid will allow me to block straight people from viewing my profile, but it won’t allow me to block people who are NOT IN MY FUCKING COUNTRY. Also I love how people think that this is the proper place to ask for free sex advice.
I really just need a hole to cum inside of. If this is you message me back.
Sent on Aug 30
I had to reply to this. I had to. It was too easy. I replied with, “there’s an app for that.” and his response was so perfect: “I don’t have a smart phone”
I don’t even know if it’s so funny because he had no idea I was trolling him, or because he came up with the perfect response to a troll.
Wanna fuck
Sent from the OkCupid app Sep 7
Right to the point. Not sure if question or statement. I feel like I should have responded with, “good luck with that.” Because that’s really all I can think to say.
Damn. You are fucking sexy. I just thought I would tell you in case no one has today
Sent on Sep 8
Not to sound conceited, but I AM a woman. YES. I get told I am attractive everyday. If it’s not some random creeper on the street, it’s a douchebag on OkCupid. There are better ways of picking up women. Like respecting them. And talking about something other than her appearance.
u have huge boobs πŸ™‚
Sent on Sep 13
Another one I couldn’t resist replying to. All I said was, “how astute of you…” He read my response but never replied. Probably didn’t want to make it obvious that he couldn’t figure out what “astute” means.
Dam those tits fucking awesome
Sent on Sep 14
GDI someone help me, I can’t drop my panties fast enough with such clever and flattering comments on my breasts. Does this shit ever actually work? Like ever?
W ( . )( . )zers πŸ™‚
Sent from the OkCupid app Sep 17
I…I have no words. And apparently neither does he.
When I read your profile, I thought soon afterwards was, “how many men try to talk to this woman about feminism without giving a thought to the subject if there wasn’t a woman’s rack in their eyes, which are twitching and shaking away his head, doing his utmost to show that he thinks is polite.” I find it’s pretty OK to look at a woman’s boobs, because, that’s part of why I find a woman sexy. I haven’t read much of feminism, that’s why I typically shut up, ask the woman to go into detail, and not be scared to look at her tits…When someone makes that fake cough when I’m smoking, that’s when I inhale a little and blow it past their face. It irks them and I’m high fiving The Marlboro Man…What’s new with you?
Sent on Oct 7
Yeah…that’s not how feminism works. You don’t get to say you respect feminist women but that it’s totally okay to stare at her boobs as if she’s not an actual person. I don’t care why you find women sexy. I don’t care if you THINK you’re listening to what we’re saying. Just…no. It’s a thing called respect. Which you lack. Kindly fuck off.
Sex possible
Sent on Oct 16
Usually, yes, sex is a possibility. But not in this case, not with you. Gross.
loved make u cum
Sent on Oct 24
Was I passed out for this? Or drugged? Because that would be rape. Even if you remove the past tense it’s still rather presumptuous and creepy. I don’t even know how to make this into an acceptable message. Not with the words given, anyway. You’d have to add some words and subtract some letters. Like replace all of them with just about ANYTHING else.
And here’s the thing: I am no stranger to bedroom talk. I love to talk dirty sometimes. It’s fun and exciting. But not appropriate for a first message, especially when my profile explicitly states that I don’t want sexual messages right off the bat. Ah well, I guess I will keep my profile active, if for no other reason than more blog material.