Sh*t OkCupid Says Pt. 2

August 10, 2014

Since my first “Shit OkCupid Says” post, messages have gotten more and more ridiculous. They have some of my male friends apologizing on behalf of their gender! I have even added to my profile that I don’t wish to have people ask for sex right off the bat, and that tact and class go a long way. So, I’ve saved some of the funniest ones, just for you, dear readers…

I’d love to fuck you like an animal. Message me if you like huge dick
Sent from the OkCupid app Jul 7
Nine Inch Nails called, they want their lyrics back. Seriously though, huge dick? Have a hard time believing that one, and even so, no, I don’t like huge dick. I like my dicks pretty average sized. Too big can be painful!
Hey , How is it going ?
i`m a bisexual lady, im looking for fun , sex , I want to be the dominant in the relation ,,,, also i have a bf so if u r interested in threesome that would be awesome , please note that my profile is empty cuz i like meeting ppl not just talking ,,,, thanks
Sent on Jul 22
Okay…this is not from a guy…but totally deserves to be on here because hey, women can be fucking creepy too. First, what’s with the commas and lack of periods or apostrophes? What is even happening here? Confusing grammar aside, I notice a trend with bisexual women on OKC: most of them (or the ones who message me, anyway) just want a threesome with their boyfriends. What’s up with that. As a queer woman, I know most bisexuals are not interested in such en devours, but damn, I see now where the stereotype comes from.
Be my gf?
Sent on Jul 23

LOLWHUT? I can’t even…this guy isn’t even in an adjacent state.

Hi ru intrested to see big cok on cam ?
Sent from the OkCupid app Jul 17
Can’t even spell interested, why should I expect him to know how to spell cock?
Wat if u wake up suddenly and u find ur self in bed ……….. With me
Sent from the OkCupid app Jul 28
Holy effing creepy! I actually replied to this one with, “probably shoot you because WTF random stranger in my bed.” This one wins. It just wins for most horribly creepy and douchey message ever.
I would love to lick your kitty
Sent on Aug 2
Ew. I mean, I like oral sex, but this message is just ew.
BBC Friendly?
Sent on Aug 3
Ugh…just…what? Why? No, I do not have a race preference…but…ugh.
hello! are you interested in ciber-sex?
Sent on Tuesday
Ciber-sex. CIBER. These messages just make my spell check go insane.
So do u like male cock?
Sent on Wednesday
…as opposed to female cock? Now, I realize not everyone with a penis is male, but generally speaking, when asking someone their genital preference, you don’t need to attach gender to it….especially if you are cis-gender. Just sayin’. This just confuses me.
Come over…
Sent on Thursday
That’s quite presumptuous. Maybe you should read my profile, D-Bag.
Hey sexy how are you ? Do you like big thick cock ?
Sent from the OkCupid app Yesterday
The big dick questions just never get old…they’re classics at this point.

A guilty pleasure of mine is the TV show “Degrassi.” It airs on TeenNick and is aimed at teenagers, but I rather enjoy the story lines. I think the biggest reason I continue to love the show is that it tackles real-life issues. From pregnancy to sexual assault and consent issues to sexual orientation and gender identity, it seems no topic is too taboo for the show, which is fantastic, because with its diverse cast and multiple portrayals of how to deal with said issues, it is really relate-able for people of any age.

This week was the season finale, and there was one story arc in particular that made me really give the makers of the show huge kudos.

*Spoiler Alert*

One of the main characters, Miles, used to date a girl named Maya, who has an openly gay best friend Tristan. After their break-up, Miles developed a very close friendship with Tristan, and it was confessed that Tristan has a crush on Miles. Miles has always identified as straight, and has always been secure in that identity, and has never expressed any homophobia or discomfort with Tristan’s crush. Eventually, in the season finale, Miles and Tristan are playing a hide-and-seek type game with some friends on a stormy night, and as Miles is about to tag Tristan, Tristan threatens Miles with a kiss if he comes any closer. Miles walks up to Tristan and tell him “go ahead.” They kiss and are caught by Miles’ friend, who laments that since Miles is straight, he will only break Tristan’s heart when it never happens again. Later, Miles approaches Tristan to talk about the kiss. Tristan is dismissive and says he understands it was a “heat of the moment” kind of thing, but much to Tristan’s surprise, Miles says that all he knows is that he feels good when he is around Tristan and that the kissing was fun.

I loved this because there was no identity crisis with Miles as is usually the case in TV shows and movies when a heterosexual character (especially male) gets involved with someone of the same sex. He didn’t need to let Tristan down, or remind anyone he’s straight, he simply evaluated his feelings, and accepted that there might be something between them. I really look forward to seeing where things go with Miles and Tristan and hope that the show doesn’t let me down. It’s a great example of how sexuality is fluid, and how sexual identity doesn’t always have to be immediately questioned or evaluated when you have feelings for someone you didn’t expect to.